Jusenyko Curse 101 with The Kunos
by obsidians
Summary: Ranma gets everyone's help to try and explain their curses to the dense Kunos' for once and for all. This is just a silly, short one shot that occurred to me while grocery shopping. It is rated K as I have a swear word in my intro intended for my favourite guest review flamer. Hey there buddy, thanks for my reviews from this morning; you suck :) Sorry I had to repost this.


I don't own Ranma or its characters and I don't make any profit from writing these stories.

My dear guest review flamer, thank you for the insulting welcome back from you. Seeing that I stopped writing fics in 2007; it's nice to see that you still lack a life where you can spend all your time trolling the Ranma fanfiction section being a flamer jerk. BTW, I'm 44 to be precise and never claimed to be the best writer at any given time and onto my tenth year of marriage, ergo I don't have to fuck myself but I encourage you to do that. Have a nice day :)

"Kodachi, Kuno; glad you could come" Ranma said as he let them into the dojo.

"What are we doing here?" Kuno asked as he eyed everyone in the room.

"In good time; first I'll ask you to test this garden hose," he said handing it to the taller man and he looked at Ranma like he was nuts, but let the water trickle over his hand.

"What about it?" he asked Ranma.

"Would you say it is a regular garden hose with regular water coming out of it?" Ranma asked him.

"Um, yeah" he said, sharing a look with his sister.

"Great, Kodachi, this shower attachment is attached to the sink, can the you say that this is regular warm water?" Ranma asked her, spraying a little on her hand.

"Yes" she said in a confused sounding voice.

"Great, if you two will take these seats, we'll handcuff you to them and our demonstration will get started" Ranma announced.

"Handcuffs, you haven't got any perverted plans for us?" Kuno asked with a blush.

"Of course not. What makes you think that?" Ranma asked him.

"Let's see, everyone present appears to be only wearing bathrobes and you want to handcuff us to chairs, I want you to swear on your honour as a martial artist, that you don't intend to use us sexually or force us to witness a sex act" Kuno firmly said.

"A sex show with my father and a group of teenagers?" Ranma said in an incredulous voice, "are you mad?" and then rolled his eyes as he had already knew the answer to _that_ question. "Perish the thought, I swear. The handcuffs are only to make sure that you pay attention" Ranma explained.

"Okay" Kodachi said, sitting down and allowing Ranma to handcuff her and then her brother reluctantly did the same.

"Okay you know everyone here, but I shall start by reintroducing them to you; you know Ryoga Hibiki" Ranma said.

"Hi" the good natured boy said.

"Shampoo of the Chinese Amazons" Ranma said, pointing to her.

"Hi ya" she said waving.

"Mousse, also of the Chinese Amazons" Ranma said.

"Hello" he said.

"Finally, my own father; Genma Saotome," Ranma said.

"Yes we have already met them" Kuno said.

"But what if told you, that we all have something in common? You see there are cursed springs on a training ground in Jusenyko, China where if a person falls in them, they take the shape of what drowned there and they can only turn back when doused with warm water and in order to activate the curse, the person has to be doused with cold water?" Ranma explained.

"Shape shifters? Sounds like something out of a bad manga series" Kuno said doubtfully.

"So what if I told you that I become a girl, Ryoga a small black pig, Shampoo a cat, Mousse a duck and my father a panda?" Ranma slowly explained, as if to a mentally challenged child.

"Impossible," Kodachi scoffed. "You all look as normal as you ever have."

"Okay, so pay attention" Ranma said as he squirted the others and then doused himself. "Brrrr, that's cold" she said.

"My love, my Pigtailed Girl!" Kuno cried, trying to lunge forward, only to be brought short by his handcuffs

"Now what do you see?" he asked them as the animal cursed looked on expectedly.

"Where did all of these animals come from?" Kodachi asked him.

"Kuno, what did you see just now?" Ranma asked him encouragingly as he frowned at all of them.

"That you somehow rid the room of that rat scallion, Ranma Saotome. Though that Panda looks familiar" he said and all of the those unable to talk hung their head and sighed.

"Okay let's try this again" he said dousing everyone and himself with warm water.

"My love!" Kodachi cried as Ranma shifted into his normal self and did the same handcuff lunge as her brother.

"Oh you're all back, is here a hole in the floor you're sneaking through?" Kuno asked the sodden people, wondering why they were all glaring at him.

HOURS LATER

"Okay let's try this for the five hundredth and third time"" Ranma said wearily.

"Please no, Shampoo is freezing and getting hungry" she begged but went cat again.

"Okay now watch, the cat is Shampoo, Ryoga is the pig, Mousse is the duck and my father is the panda and I'm the girl" he spat through gritted teeth at how dense they could both be and wondered at how much inbreeding had occurred down the lines in their family.

"Wait, I see what you're trying to say," Kuno said with a frown. "You're all victims of a curse and the woman I love is you" Kuno said in triumph. "I think I'm going to be sick," he gasped at this revelation.

Ranma returned everyone to normal and they all clapped.

"Then that means that redheaded harridan is you?" Kodachi added. "Oh well, a little curse won't stand in the way of true love and I am rather attracted to women" she assured Ranma and he looked at her nervously.

"Okay now you understand" Ranma said unlocking their handcuffs.

"Yes, but I do have to know; who else knows about your female form?" Kuno asked Ranma.

"The entire school" he said.

"Then that means the entire student body knows I have been in pursuit of a guy?" he said, going pale.

"I really must look into these cursed springs. I'm rather jealous that I don't have a curse" Kodachi said, leaving with her brother.

"The place sounds kind of dangerous. Wonder why anyone would train there?" Kuno mused.

"Perhaps we ask guide next time we see him if there is spring of drowned slug or gerbil or something small that we can throw her into so we can throw cold water at her to silence her horrible laugh when she do laugh?" Shampoo suggested.

"We would take turns doing that" Ryoga added.

"With our luck, Kuno would fall into the spring of the drowned dumb jock and we would never be able to tell the difference when he's in his cursed form or not" Mousse said and everyone laughed at this.

"Well son, looks like you got rid of your male suitor" his father said.

"Yeah and he's the saner one of the two" Ranma said with a shudder. "Thanks for helping out everyone, let's go into the house where everyone can have a hot shower and get dressed; Kasumi made us all some food" Ranma said, glowing with pride that he had actually got the Kunos' to understand about his curse.

THE END


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